Sunday, May 27, 2012

short stories

 I feel like doing a bit of a photo dump. I have been meaning to take some fancy pants pictures of some of the changes around my house, but then I get lazy/tired. So. Let's have some pictures and random captions where I say why the heck I am posting a picture of, say, my spice cabinet (I organized it!)
 And I finally got some pictures of Grant up on our walls. This means that he is officially a member of the family! I guess this means we're keeping him and that we can take the tags off of him now.
 Remember that one lamp that I was spray painting a post or so ago? Well....someone might have broken that lamp when they were trying to "modify" it. Ahem. So I reconfigured the pieces and glued them together like this and made it into a fancy pot thing.
 And then I got this mirror from Goodwill a while ago and I was thrilled. I have been looking for a mirror with a curved top and flat bottom for years. No seriously...I have. It was four bucks. Another goodwiller lady tried to convince me I didn't need it and I smiled at her sweetly and got into line all while laughing maniacally in my brain. Something like this: Mwahahahaha, MY mirror!!
 We planted some flowers. This is huge for non-grass mowers like us (I did tell you about the police officer story and the grass didn't I? And how the same office pulled me over the next day about not coming to a full and complete stop at a stop sign allegedly. I run with the wrong crowd apparently. I'm a rebel without a cause.)
 Yes, that is all junk from my pantry, fridge, spice cabinets, etc. We have been doing a DEEP purge these past few days.
Oh yeah, and I made a headboard. It's awesome. I'll definitely take better pictures of this. This headboard deserves fancy pictures. Sorry headboard, you deserve better than this pathetic excuse for a cell phone picture. Next time.

translate first, ask questions later...

The other day a story that I hadn't thought about for a while came into my mind and I could not stop laughing. So I thought I would tell it to you.

If you're new around here, you might not know that I served a year and a half welfare mission for my church in Honduras.

One day towards the end of my time there, I was sitting in the house of some local members of the church talking to them about something. Suddenly, a song came onto the radio in the background while we were visiting. Now--a little backstory here--we, as missionaries, are not supposed to listen to anything other than classical or religious music during that time (and even then, we rarely have time to listen to music because we are almost always out of our apartment). Anyway, I was close to going home and I wanted to have some spanish music to take home as a souvenir. All of the missionaries had told me about a great place to buy spanish c.d.'s for cheap before I headed home, so I would occasionally ask people what songs or musical groups they liked so that I could buy their c.d. Also keep in mind that missionaries in our church have a similar reputation to the nuns of the Catholic Church-- they are supposed to hold themselves to very strict moral standards.

Okay, so now that you have the background, there we were in this house, and I head this unknown song come on in the background. I could only barely hear it, but I thought the tune sounded catchy and said something to the effect of, "Oh, I like this song! What is the name of it?"

The teenagers in the room (of which there were several), started cracking up (should have been my first clue), and one managed to say, "Oh really? You like this song Hermana Fisk?" I nodded and said, "Yeah, I haven't really heard it, but I like the beat. Do you know what it's called?" This time everyone burst out laughing, including my companion, to my confusion and discomfiture. I kept asking them why they were laughing until someone managed to gasp through their laughter, "The name of the song is 'Quitemonos la Ropa.'"

I turned bright red and swore I would never ask about another song again unless I could listen to the lyrics first. Translated? "Let's Take Off Our Clothes."

Bow chicka bow wow. hahaha

Thursday, May 17, 2012

around here lately

 This post will probably be some more random. Random posts work for me these days. So here are some photos that tell what I've been up to lately. Above is the necklace I made with my very own two NON CRAFTY hands dangit! I had to use chemicals and I messed them up several times before they worked, but by golly, they got to my Mom on time. My brothers noticed that their silhouettes ended up being smaller, which was not done because they are less cooler--(although let's face it, it's true) but because I went in order of age, and it just happened to look better small, large, small, large. (or less favorite, favorite, less favorite, favorite). Just kidding! I love how it turned out. So did mom.
 My Dum Dum bouquet Maddy made at church. She took care of the two mystery flavors for me because she didn't want me to accidentally get any yucky ones. She's a thoughtful one, that girl. :)
 Breakfast in bed. With a fancy silver tray. My favorite Eggs Benedict. I'm a lucky girl.
 We tried to tell him that is not how you eat a cob of corn, but he insisted. Such a city kid.
 Ate some fried green tomatoes, and seriously, they were amazing. WOW
 She still sucks her thumb. We are working on it, with less than stellar results. I'm not worried--both John and I were long-time thumb suckers, and we still managed to learn how to be successful humans.
 This kid is climbing on everything and trying death defying feats of babydom that make me have more gray hairs everyday. He is THAT boy. Holy moses.
 I can never get enough of the colors of the ponies all lined up for playtime. "Which one do you want to be Mommy? You can pick from alllll of them."
 Throwing my nicely arranged pillows off my couch. Happens first thing in the morning. Every morning.
 Someone picked me a flower from the yard.
 Went to the Depot and got some wood cut. My mother's helper is going to change my life. I might be able to do projects again! We are attempting a headboard.
 My primed lamp. I want it to look like a silver trophy. First spray paint was a disappointment. Second choice was much better. Choose chrome my friends, not silver.

You can see the faint outline of the curly villain-esque mustache that I drew on John with Non Crayola washable markers. Apparently the few extra twenty cents you spend on name brand markers may be worth it. We had to scrub it just to get it down to one jaunty purple swirl on his cheek.

So, what's been on your mind lately?

Saturday, May 12, 2012

good, bad, ugly (but not too ugly, mostly funny)

The good: I hired a mother's helper for four hours a week. She came yesterday for the first time and it was just as awesome as I anticipated.

John's parents are bring their 40th anniversary celebrations to South Carolina, where they have decided to rent a beach house and invite us to join them. My dreams are coming true people!! (and the beach house has a pool....)

Finally signed Maddy up for swimming lessons this year. She might be the only five year old that has never been, but at least she is finally signed up!

I got the library books back ON TIME this week. It's a miracle.

Maddy is learning to read thanks to a book a friend recommended. When I watch her learning to sound things out and then figuring out the word, I feel 1. like giving her a high five every time (and usually do),  2. like I am giving her a giant golden key to the most amazing gift of her life. It was for me, 3. like she is a genius. Making the leap between non-reader and reader is actually a really amazing and awesome experience. I can't explain how much it astounds me. 4. like crying, because she is going to kindergarten this year.

Instagram is awesome. If you wonder about the stories behind some of the above photos, then you should follow me on instagram. I am an instragramming machine now. yessssss.

I am not a blogging machine anymore. This is a good thing. I plan to only come back here occasionally. Now I mostly blog privately, and it feels much better to my soul.

The bad: Maddy talks about her upcoming--but not that upcoming--birthday every day. 

I have had a sinus infection, unexplained hearing loss, and vertigo for about two weeks. (all better thankfully). They weren't joking when they said your body goes downhill after thirty. I just expected it to start happening around 36-ish. Not in the very same year of being thirty.

Grant keeps hiding my shoes from me. And he's really good at it.

The ugly:  five minutes before my newly hired mother's helper arrived, I realized the bathroom was out of toilet paper. Spent next three minutes frantically searching for some toilet paper in the house and finally found a roll upstairs in the playroom (?). Close call. 

Grant bonked his head next to his eye on the baseboard in the kitchen. Don't ask me how that is possible--I saw it happen and I still don't know. Looks like he has a shiner (again).