Sunday, October 5, 2014

i love a good list (within a list)

Warning: the pictures have absolutely nothing to do with the post. Just things from the weekend. You know how I love random.

Some thoughts for the night/weekend:

Exhibit A

 I recently (and bravely I might add) revealed to my friends on instagram (and sort of indirectly on facebook) that I am writing a book. Please don't go analyzing my grammar and terrible sentence structure now ha!
admitting that was a major step for me for several reasons (you know I have to list them, right?): 1. saying it out loud means you can never take it back 2. people might think you're a totally delusional, self-aggrandizing, narcissistic idiot 3. they start analyzing your grammar (I told you, don't look!) 4. it's sort of like a diet--if you admit you're on one, you're sure to fall off the wagon two days later. Oh wait, that diet thing is just me?? But let's be frank here. I don't know if I'm good enough to write a book. It's fiction, it's still in the beginning stages. It's a love story of sorts that involves...wait for it...magic! ha. It could be so good or it could be SO VERY BAD. I don't even care. I know some people will think it's ridiculous. But those people don't have to live with the voice in my head that says that I will only be a failure if I never try. Also, I waited until I had ten chapters to tell anyone (except my mom and sister and husband), so basically that means I waited until I felt pretty dang sure that--here's another list-- 1. I was in too deep and too in love with the characters to give up in shame after admitting I was writing and 2. pretty sure it was good. People, it needs so much re-writing (especially the beginning), but I think it's actually good! Hope I didn't just jinx myself. I'm really superstitious.

Exhibit B

This weekend was what I call Superbowl Sunday for Mormons. We had our twice yearly General Conference. If you're a mormon that has lots of facebook friends that are mormon, you get sort of annoyed by the end of this amazing weekend of how many pictures and statuses you had to read about people making cinnamon rolls and quoting from the amazing addresses that our leaders give. I'm pretty much a punk for admitting to my annoyance. It's probably just sour grapes because I only made Blueberry cobbler stuff from a Krusteaz package....grumble....grumble.

Exhibit C

I went garage sale-ing this weekend. I didn't really get anything amazing, but it was fun because I went with my friends and the weather was the most beautiful weather I think I have experienced in my whole life. It was sunny, cool, with a gentle breeze. I gave into the youthful euphoria it was producing and even smiled at strangers. I'd have to see it to believe it.

Exhibit D

Having a dream and working towards it has enriched my life so much. I have never been as busy in my life as I have been this past year. My kids, my church responsibilities, school, preschool, health issues, moving, renovating a kitchen, the list goes on and on. I could have just told myself that I was too busy to try and write. For years I did tell myself that very thing. And then one day, I just sat down and decided to try. I can't tell you how satisfying it is to my soul. I won't say that it doesn't even matter if it doesn't get published, because that is super lame, um of course I care about that, but the process has been so enjoyable and added so much to my sense of well-being. So...even if it doesn't get published--I'll be disappointed, but I will never REGRET it. Regret is a much bigger pill to swallow than disappointment ever is.

So, if you have something you've always wanted to try, and if you're the only thing standing in your own way--move! Starting is the hardest part. It has made me really happy. I even have my own room for writing. It makes me feel like Jo March to admit that.

Exhibit E (last one I promise)

I let my new friend who has never been formally trained as a hairdresser (she's a nurse actually), cut my hair back into a pixie. She even used electric clippers. Something has happened to my bravery levels lately. I don't even flipping care anymore. It's awesome. (and my hair looks great btw). hair always grows back. better yet, we had a great time chatting and we even shared some hard things we've been going through. God works in mysterious ways, sometimes it even involves hair cuts.

That's all I've got for tonight.